Two men stood on a hill, kissing. A third man watched. He did not want to kiss the men, although he did not want to kiss nobody. So that night, the third man crept towards the two lovers and shot them both.
The next day, the man stood on top of the hill, bellowing the story of two lovers, shot unjustly because they were Gafnogs. He moaned and he preached, and eventually ignited a small, bright revolution to change the law and allow two men to kiss each other on top of a hill, whenever they please.
Anonymous asked: i'm a feminist and i found that offensive
That’s totally fine.
Just because we’re holes, doesn’t mean we’re empty.Pussies
I’m grateful for my small, almond-shaped testicles. They make my penis look full + healthy. (A person with small ears doesn’t necessarily have a big head, although with a short enough haircut he or she will appear handicapped.)Pill Bullman, “Day of Independence”
sassypantzz asked: I meant to thank you a while ago when it came in, but I bought your book and I've already showed it off to all my friends! I love it and it has all my favorites in it. So thank you!
What is book
Anonymous asked: is it hard being vegan? at stores I always see really delicious vegan brownies and soup and whatnot but it's kind of expensive. also I really like your art and stuff, happy almost monday!
It’s actually a struggle every day being that not only am I vegan but also a veganarian, and an equal rights food opportunist. What it boils down to is that I can’t technically “eat” anything except for Jamba Juice. I also experience violent flare ups when I see children and I have porcelain genitalia.
llanakila-deactivated20130606 asked: Still waiting to meet you again in life! Haaa :)
Isn’t this… real… life?
“It’s about time I’m honest with you all; I eat dildos constantly. All day I’m shuffling dildos into my mouth. Its like I can’t get enough rubbery dick into my mouth at once.”
thelunee asked: Rad designs, yo but sheeet $30 for a shirt? I do not have a garden full of trees with money for leaves. (that came out poetic, totally intended)
Start planting some seeds, Jack.
booty-goddess asked: Can i sell you my soul so i can be tumblr famous? Btw I just dropped a scone on the floor. Should I eat it?
Sold. From now on, eat everything off the floor.
georrrge asked: Steve! Got your zine the other week and it's rad! Nice one mayyn
Yeehaw! Glad you ordered one, thanks Georrrge! Sorry it took a decade to send, I’m bad at post orfices.
Anonymous asked: Will you draw a swanpotamus for me please? If anyone can pull of a hybrid like this, it's you, man.
I had my fingers laser-removed for easier palm readings.